Ask a Manager

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose coworker made a mean “self-evaluation” for their boss, who punishing everyone? Here’s the update. A lot has happened since I last wrote. First, I’d […]

• HR questioned me for hours about a sex injury
• our HR director might be a pathological liar
• someone made a mean "self-evaluation" for my boss, and she's punishing us all

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are five updates from past letter-writers. 1. My boss gave me thank-you money in secret, but it feels like hush money (#3 at the link) I thought […]

• my boss is resentful when I do well, contacting the company that fired my husband, and more
• my coworker gave my kid $20 and told him to keep it a secret
• a client sent me a thank-you check as a way to avoid paying my boss

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer who wanted to know how much they could pet […]

• what's up with unannounced video calls?
• I accidentally flashed my team during a video call
• am I being unprofessional on video calls?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose performance evaluation was based on activities outside of […]

• my performance evaluation is based on activities outside of work
• here's an example of an excellent cover letter
• an example of starting with grace when you're frustrated with someone

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

If you’re the boss, finding the right gifts for your employees can be fraught with questions: How much do you spend? Should you spend the same amount of money on each person? And if you don’t know someone well, how do you make sure they like the gift while still keeping it professional? For the […]

• Boss's Day is a crock and we need to kill it off
• we gave an expensive goodbye gift and the person didn't leave
• I like to give small gifts at work -- am I doing anything wrong?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer who, as the only gay man in his department, […]

• I was asked to take down a family photo, coworker is working a second job during her hours for us, and more
• my boss excessively Photoshops herself on our company's social media
• is it OK to look very different from your online photos?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s time to vote on the worst boss of the year! Today we’ll vote for the worst boss in each of four match-ups. On Wednesday, the winners will go head-to-head with each other. On Friday, we’ll vote on the finalists. The winner will be crowned next Monday. Voting in this round closes at 11:59 pm […]

• the worst boss of 2023 is…
• the worst boss of 2022 is…
• the worst boss of 2020 is...

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. I think I offended a client I give private music lessons, often in people’s homes. About a month ago, I arrived and the youngest child didn’t know where her materials were, and […]

• my office thinks I insulted a coworker, colleague refuses to take my input, and more
• my employee's clothes accentuate her chest -- how do I talk to her about it?
• I'm about to be the manager of an employee who made my child cry

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: All Fours, by Miranda July. What to say about this book! It’s about marriage and parenthood and sex and perimenopause and obsession and trauma […]

• all of my 2022 and 2023 book recommendations
• all of my book recommendations from 2015-2021
• the cats of AAM

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. My CEO is furious about a joke I made Thanks for publishing my letter. I wasn’t able to respond to […]

• my CEO is furious about a joke I made
• my coworker keeps joking that I'm having sex with my husband in the office
• my manager named Joseph Stalin employee of the month

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: This may be cheating as an “update” since I am not the original person who wrote in about AI attending meetings, but I still thought it might be interesting/useful to you and your readers! Today I was in a Zoom meeting: a regular small meeting to publish a paper. I noticed an […]

• boss wants us to do early-morning and evening meetings so he can attend from his vacation
• have your kids take notes at your meetings, and other weirdly out-of-touch advice for the quarantine
• my boss called a mysterious meeting with me and I'm afraid I'm going to be fired

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […]

• a DNA test revealed the CEO is my half brother ... and he's freaking out
• coworker keeps interrupting my work and told me it's "good practice" to keep myself focused
• need help finding a job? start here

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Our company asked if we’d donate a kidney to a board member My previous workplace sent a company-wide email (via the COO) asking if staff would donate a kidney to a 70-year-old […]

• my client won't pay my cancellation fee, company asked us to donate a kidney to a board member, and more
• my boss wants to give me his kidney -- but I don't want it
• my favorite posts of 2018

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. Employer rejected me, then sent a list of everything I did wrong Three or so years ago, I emailed you […]

• employer rejected me, then sent a list of everything I did wrong
• is it rude to read in the car on work trips?
• what to say if an interviewer asks about your favorite books or movies

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. Working from a one-bedroom […]

• working from a one-bedroom apartment with a baby and nanny, people keep quitting, and more
• I can't afford to keep paying for work I'm not receiving from our nanny
• my employee keeps criticizing my food

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. An employee showed up […]

• an employee showed up for a video training while lounging in bed and smoking
• is working from an armchair hurting my credibility?
• what's up with unannounced video calls?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer wondering whether she could bring a friend-with-benefits back to […]

• can I bring a friend-with-benefits back to my hotel on a work trip?
• my coworker brought sex workers back to our hotel on a business trip
• I had to stay in a horrible hotel on a team-building trip

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose boss wouldn’t do anything about their terrible (mean, […]

• my boss called a mysterious meeting with me and I'm afraid I'm going to be fired
• remember the manager who wouldn't let her best employee attend her own graduation?
• I resent my employee for being richer and more qualified than me

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

We have once again entered the season of forced workplace merriment, holiday party disasters, and other seasonal delights! Thus it is time to hear about your office holiday debacles, past or current. Did you pass out naked in the break room? Did your manager provide you with a three-page document of “party procedures”? Were you given a […]

• my boss was furious that I went to a work party after calling out sick
• our polyamorous employee wants to bring their 3 partners to the holiday party
• we can only bring our spouses to the holiday party if we have kids

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My sister abused my employee discount I get a discount at a popular amusement park because I work for its parent company. There are no explicit policies regarding the use of the […]

• my company secretly gives parents thousands of extra dollars in benefits
• my employer gives extra perks to thin people
• rejection turned into an ad for a resume-writing company